As I look back on my teenage years, I can now see how I really tried to ignore what kept tugging at my conscience- the Lords law. I still had my hands so tightly clenched around sin, that there was no room to reach out and grasp the Savior.
God is our “refuge”; and in the literal translation of this word- God is our “mansion-house, our dwelling place”. Christ is always there for us- His arms are open; to which sinners under a sense of sin can flee to for shelter; and where they are safe from the affliction of the shadows, and the coming wrath of God. “The eternal God is [your] refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms”- Deuteronomy 33:27. But there is no room for both a sin indulging heart and Christ- we must first drop the dirt we tighten our hands around, and then God’s cleansing and purging grace will begin. As a teenager- when it came to reading God's Word, I had no interest it its promises- nor had I any feelings towards putting honest faith into what it said. However, there was still enough anxiety in my heart- fear of the conviction I found within its pages, that my bible remained stationary on my shelf...and I thought that if I could ignore the verses that pierced my heart with conviction, that I could continue to live a double life in bondage to sin....but I was only fooling myself. We as Christians; if we live a double life in bondage to sin- as I was, then we will look like the biggest fools of them all. For who will listen to someone that says one thing, and then does the complete opposite? Hypocrisy seems to be one of the greatest ink stains that humanity constantly drips on the word of God. To have a “spotless appearance”, but a sin indulging heart, is like having a beautiful smile with rotten teeth.